A Critical Spirit

What is a critical spirit?? 

[[Critical: expressing (verbally or non-verbally) adverse or disapproving judgments]] 

+ 

[[Spirit: nonphysical, inward, character]

A Critical Spirit

1)is a sin!! 

    is a branch stemming from prIde 

    is one ugly heart condition 

    is to be confessed and repented of ASAP

2)often can be directed towards those walking in closest proximity to us in life

3)originates:

   A)often from a place of legitimacy, yet- ineffectively meets this need in an illegitimate/ungodly way.  (i.e. loving mama bear with God-given concern for her child is filled with thoughts of "husband/caregiver/+++, you're doing that task all wrong (read::: how I think. I feel. I believe. I perceive you should be doing it to my satisfaction standard), goes on to disrespect said caregiver in thought and/or action. She struggles to relay these thoughts and feelings kindly to said individual in real time.

insert communication skills here::

[ I feel ________, when __________, I need ___________.] *

*PTL for mental health professionals who skillfully help to equip us with the tools necessary for surviving thriving in relationship with others.

    B)at times from a place of insecurity (tearing others down, so as to make ourselves feel better. eeeeeek!)

    C)most frequently from a place of unmet need (i.e. tired, emotional, hangry). 

4) has an antidote:::humility & the biblical worldview of self/other

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. (James 4:10)

Rest assured sister, God always keeps His promises 🌈

for God is not a man, that he should lie (# 23:19). 

What does the Bible Say about this??

Example:

note the purpose that they were looking to Jesus or watching him was so that they could "find a reason to accuse him"

Have you ever found yourselves watching (or inquiring about)  ___(person)____ so that you could find a reason to accuse them? 

               [[accuse def.: to criticize. to charge with a fault. to blame. to nag. to make less of. to tear down.]]

Ladies, 

we have a real enemy. The Devil.

Did you know that he is referred to as "the accuser"? (Revelation 12:10)

the "prince of the power of the air" (Ephesians 2:2) 

"a thief" who comes to steal, kill & destroy (John 10)

and "a lion" crouching, lying in wait for us to have a weak or tired moment- Satan has proven in my heart that he is always ready to pounce. most often down the throat of the nearest person. 

God forbid that we fall prey to Satan's wily schemes of using us (sisters, wives, mothers, ++) as pawns to accuse God's people of inadequacy. Of being deceived by the Father of Lies to follow our own pride down the path of deception in this area. 

As "the ruler of this world" (John 12:31) Satan has major influence over ideals, opinions, goals and worldviews. As a result of his lies and deception, the world will hammer down/tear apart our loved ones. GOD FORBID that we do anything but speak life & truth & words that build them up. 

(e.g. __person___ scrolling through Instagram, receives the cultural messaging of comparison, inferiority, and inadequacy (I don't have as many friends as ___, my life is so boring compared to ___'s, I'm not as rich/beautiful/thin/funny/smart as ____, I'm unworthy of love because ____). 24/7: "YOU AREN'T ENOUGH."

NEWS FLASH, SISTA::: We aren't "enough". We never have been or will be- and that's actually good news in light of the good news/gospel truth that Jesus Christ is holy. Jn. 3:16

Click here for a definition of Holy

Rev. 12:10 says that "the accuser of our brethren, who accused them before our God day and night, has been cast down."

PRAISE THE LORD!! Satan the accuser has been cast down!!

Sister Share, practical pieces:

-Have you ever prayed "LORD, point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of ever lasting life." (Ps. 139:24) 

If not I encourage you to meditate on it sometime. Doing so takes your ear muffs off and invites God to RESPOND to you. This can facilitate His Spirit to convict your heart of your own personal sin. I praise the Lord for part 2 of that ^ verse; our Good Shepherd indeed leads those who choose to trust and follow Him.

-pray without ceasing. Jesus knows our thoughts. He (unlike us) is NOT surprised by them. 

-if you (like me) struggle with having a critical/nagging side- confess this and ask a brother or sister to lift you up in prayer in this area. like the arms of Moses, we all get weary doing battle. Trust me that as wife/mother/++ you are doing the Lord's work!!! Keep going!! Walking out the fruitful life is worth it sister- please recruit someone to hold your arms up in prayer. (Exodus 17)

-invite your "biggest challenges" as accountability partners. "Dear _____, I'm sorry that I have been so hard on you about___. You are doing a great job at ____. Jesus is teaching me to be more humble, patient and kind; I need your help: please let me know when you feel that I am being too hard on you." (warning: humbling & effective) (also, only do this IF YOU ARE TRULY READY AND WILLING TO RECEIVE/SUBMIT TO THE LORD/SURRENDER YOUR CRITICAL SPIRIT, here)

-Look for good. excellent. praiseworthy. words/actions. incorporate reward systems so that you might seek out the commendable and call/build up your household. (Philippians 4:8) 

-choose your battles. (i.e. my two year old is not allowed to 1) hurt himself, 2)hurt others, or 3) destroy property- most everything else is fair game. this is something our pediatrician shared with me and has proven to be a real sanity saver!!! food on the head, tidal waves outside the tub, playing in the pooper- no big deal. (cue cringe laughter) 

-maintain, foster, cultivate curiosity towards others who you are prone to criticize. ask questions in order to gain understanding of why in the world they did a,b,c in x,y,z manner BEFORE judging them. 

-stop complaining to your girl friends about _________. Circling back to Luke 6, the Pharisees "discussed with one another what they might do to Jesus". Have you complained about ______ more than you have prayed for them today, sis?

-when critical in heart. shut your mouth. & shut your prayer closet door. 

-self care. Jesus did it. who am I to think that I don't need to __________  [ take a nap. eat. go for a walk. get away from the busyness of life, ++] ??

-don't "miss the miracle" like the Pharisees who focused on Jesus's "faults" and missed HIM healing the withered hand. All we truly ever have is this moment- the present. And it is FULL OF MIRACLES because we still have air in our lungs to sing the praises of God. God forbid that we miss the miracles He is performing all around us each and every day as a result of our focus being placed onto the wrong something someone. It's ALL about me JESUS. 

-LET US LIVE AS WISE WOMEN WHO EXPECT/ASSUME/LOOK FOR THE BEST CHARACTER AND INTENT FROM OTHERS. Those who have a heart to criticize will always find something to criticize. Like holding a hammer in hand- everything starts to look like a nail. 

-2 Corinthians 3:17 "Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." 

WE HAVE CHRIST LIVING IN US, SIS!!! Therefore, walk in freedom from having a critical spirit with me today by wallpapering God's word over your thought-life. DELIGHT YOURSELF IN THE LORD as you aim to speak life and truth into all of those that He ordains to bring you into relationship with today. 

I am here to share that Christ can break ALL chains, sis, including this one. God has answered my prayer of "LORD, GIVE MY HUSBAND A NEW WIFE. AND LORD, LET HER BE ME." many times over. in doing so He (alone) has restored our union. 

I confess to having lived as a foolish woman with a critical spirit towards my husband (primarily) & others more often than I care to admit

AND

The wise woman builds her house,

    but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. (Proverbs 14:1)

my family and I are one. what hurts them hurts me. what helps them helps me. BUILD LADIES BUILD. R-E-S-P-E-C-T them. Love them. Jesus said: judge not. condemn not. forgive. give. (Luke 6) all to God's glory. 

His word says to "break off your sins by practicing righteousness, and your iniquities by showing mercy to the oppressed" (Daniel 4:27) 

?s for thought:

1) who have you been judgmental and condemning towards today sis?

2) what steps do you need to do to repent of this, forgive them, and move forward in relationship?

3) what can you give this person, now? a text. a hug. an apology/confession. a letter. a smile. a "like"

4) have you asked God to reveal to you how this person might be "oppressed" and relied on Him to help you show them mercy? GOD IS RICH IN ONE THING, SIS- MERCY (and that's biblical!)

5)how will you practice going and sinning no more in this area? 

Don't do it alone! Like everything- this starts with prayer. Feel free to share any questions or comments below. & trust me in this- I will be rereading this post in the near future to remind myself of His remedy for my own daily struggles of the flesh. Also, I am scheduled to return to therapy (after a several month hiatus) seeking help this time around in a non-marriage/other relational struggle. WALKING IN THE WILL OF THE LORD IS ALWAYS WORTH THE FIGHT!! So walk on sis, and let's continue to do it in community. Thanks for being a part of mine :)

xo